well it's official. my dad doesn't live with my mom anymore. by christmas it'll be official: they'll be divorced.
he's living with his mom. she's still in the house. the house i grew up in (for most of my life anyway).
what the hell.
i thought this kind of thing happened with you were younger. too young to know what was going on... when all you cared about was where your toys would be.
but not now. now i'm 27. now i've been in the real world, on my own, all grow-ed up for years now. i've had enough of my own relationships to know that sometimes they don't work out. but my mom and dad...? no, no. especially not now that i can actually see and understand both sides.
my mom is the one who filed. and it was the right decision. i believe that with my whole heart. but i'm a selfish creature. and i'm left with a lot of selfish questions.
what about me? since i agree with my mom, can my dad ever forgive me?
what about holidays? do i have two birthdays, two christmases? my mom always did that stuff, will he even want to?
what about how this effects the way i look at marriage, at love? if the two most amazing people i've ever known can't make it work... how can i?
it is what it is i guess. everybody asks me if i'm okay.
it wasn't my marriage that ended. it was my family.
so no, not really. i'm not okay.
2 comments:
Mel,
Sorry to hear about this with your Mom and Dad. I hope you can work this out in your heart and move past it (although, I don't know how that could be done).
Much love to you...my heart goes out.
-Joe
All I have to say is I love you and will definitely be thinking about you and your parents and keeping your family in my prayers. I know that you will be an amazing strength to both your mom and your dad. Love can work, and you will find someone wonderful. I know it!
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